Life is inherently flawed, and our experience of it illusory, according to the Radhasoami teachers, but there is a way out of the ‘vale of tears’ which is the world of our understanding. A gateway the size of a dried pea lies between the eyebrows of all humans, and by passing through this gateway we can access what lies beyond, for what is on the other side is what lies beyond death itself. When one closes one’s eyes, glowing and dancing phosphenes are presented in the visual field, the signs, it seems, of random activity in the optic nerves. The Radhasoami teachers direct practitioners to place their attention not on this stretch of glowing coals but on the darkness beyond, regarding the patterns as a lattice through which one peers, and in particular to place their attention on the spot between and slightly above the eyes. In the darkness beyond the lattice is a field of stars and galaxies. The meditator is then advised to find the brightest star in this night sky and approach, penetrate, merge with and transcend it, as though being sucked into the gravity well of a white dwarf star and emerging on the other side into a bigger, more complex universe. Here, in the blissful company of the Inner Radiant Master who is this light, we are told, the mystic journey begins.

This may sound like an easy and perhaps enjoyable exercise, and no doubt it is for a few, but most of those who have tried it have encountered a problem – the restless mind places a stream of thoughts, images and ideas before the attention, so that it is very difficult to remain focused on what appears as the darkness of nothing for long enough to break through to the inner sky.

Lesley first set out on this journey into her own mind in 1968, and practiced it until the end of her life. To Anton, it was anathema.


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